Make This Christmas About Connection: Tips for a Merry and Safe Holiday Season
December 3, 2024
Written by Arielle Chung, Community Ambassador
For parents and caregivers of teens and young adults, the weeks leading up to Christmas might feel like a mix of magic and mayhem. Between the holiday shopping, school break, family gatherings, and endless “Are we there yet?” road trips.
So how do we make Christmas and other holidays truly meaningful, a time to strengthen relationships the youth in our lives and reduce the risk of them engaging in risky behaviors or violence?
1. Embrace Family Time (Even If It’s Just for 10 Minutes)
As one parent put it, “Honestly, it feels like teens would rather be anywhere but with their parents over the holidays. They’d much rather lock themselves in their rooms, binge-watch YouTube, hanging out with friends, or text their friends than join in on any family activities.”
Here’s the thing: quality over quantity. Even just 10 or 15 minutes of undistracted family time can work wonders. Instead of forcing teens to join every holiday activity, create opportunities for relaxed, low-pressure bonding. Invite them to join in on decorating the tree, picking out a holiday movie, or playing a board game. The key is enjoying the time together without expectations.
2. Open Up About the “Holiday Stress” (Even When They’re Grumpy)
For many teens, the holiday season can bring up feelings of stress, loneliness, or even anxiety about school, social pressures, or family tensions. As one teen shared, ” I’ve got enough to worry about with school and friends, plus dealing with relatives who don’t get my new look or my music taste.”
Giving them the chance to talk about their feelings helps them feel heard and respected. Start with open-ended questions like, “So, how are you feeling about the holidays this year?” or “What’s the best part of Christmas for you?” or “Anything on your mind?” Even if their answer is just a grunt or an eye roll, it’s still an invitation to keep the conversation going!
3. Show Appreciation (Even If They’re Teenagers)
As one parent joked, “The holidays can feel like a game of ‘How much stuff can we buy and give away?’ Sometimes, it feels like the only ‘thank you’ cards getting written are the ones we’re writing ourselves.”
But remember, our teens and young adults might not express appreciation in the same way. Take a moment to thank your teen for something they’ve done recently—whether it’s their help around the house or just for being who they are. Simple affirmations like “I’m proud of you” or “I appreciate how you’ve been helping out” A little appreciation goes a long way.
4. Laugh (Even If It’s at Yourself)
One parent shared, “Sometimes, everything just goes wrong. The tree ornament falls for the 10th time, the cookies end up looking like a Pinterest disaster, the turkey burns, the lights won’t work, and my teen shows up to Christmas dinner in pajama pants.”
Instead of getting frustrated when things don’t go according to plan, laugh it off. Sometimes the best memories come from the moments when everything goes totally wrong. Laughter is a powerful tool for defusing tension and fostering connection.
The key to a meaningful holiday season is staying present, creating moments that matter, and showing our teen that we’re there—
no matter how many times they complain about spending time with us.